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Love Yourself Feature - Tia of Hotmess Fitness

Daniela Walsh


1. Tell us a little about yourself and what #loveyourself means to you.

Aloha 🌺 my name is Tia Bee Mele Stokes I am the proud wife of 11 years to the most amazing man and football coach Andy Stokes aka he hates this but (Mr. Irrelevant 2005) I’m the wife, I can brag, right?! I am a mom to 4 crazy - but the biggest hearts you will ever meet - boys. Major 10, Legend 8, Maze 5, Tazz 1 and Flyboy🐶, so I guess I am what they call a BOY MOM. I am the founder and owner of The Vault dance studio in St. George Utah that solely “DANCES FOR A CAUSE” along with Kalamity and Kaos (dance teams). We dedicate and dance for families going through real life “Calamity’s” every year since 2007! Raising over $500,000 for families fighting a life threatening battle! I am the founder of Hotmess fitness — a fitness class centered on gratitude and positive affirmations as the KEY to the TRUE transformation! Dedicated to helping women and men to loving allll of them selves RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT!

#loveyourself to me means exactly that...loving your self right now as YOU ARE in life. You have an overwhelming amount of gratitude that love is all you have for everything you’ve been given including your body, relationships, job , everything❤️ LOVING LIFE to the FULLEST - right now in this MOMENT!

2. Have you ever struggled with self love? Was there a time period or a single experience that made you question your personal worth, and what did you do to overcome that?

YESSSS. I think we all have at one time or another. A very specific time for me....I had been struggling really bad starting at the age of 17 yrs old of never feeling good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, I was confused with life. I was also living a Dancer's life, traveling, auditioning, being compared, judged a lot off of appearance or just not good enough, let’s be honest. I had been stuck in a really abusive relationship that didn’t help at all and made me question my worth a lot! Honestly, I let all these things get to me and win...I struggled with an eating disorder for a long time. I was up and down and all around. Starving myself, to diet pills, to binging and purging, to working out excessively! It wasn’t until I met my husband, Andy, at 21 yrs old — he saved me. We got married when I was 22, and then I got pregnant with our first boy Major, that is when I hit rock bottom....I was still struggling with loving myself, and as I started to change more, I mentally couldn’t handle it. I was so self absorbed, so over obsessed that everything started to crash down on me and everything around me became 100xs worse. I was so wrapped up in my darkness I couldn’t see any light at all. I really believed that the world would be better without me. It eventually overcame me, and I tried to take my own life (I hate to say it but that's the truth)...I was pregnant at the time...So blessed that my husband came in and found me on our bathroom floor to save me...that day was DAY 1❤️ He hugged me, cleaned me up and from then on WE NEVER LOOKED BACK....together! 

My husband was my key and my little Major is my little angel child. If you know him, you know his little spirit was watching over me, and still does to this day. That day, Andy introduced me to THE GRATEFUL JOURNAL in which now I share with people alllll over!! 20 journals later it was and is The Ultimate Game Changer for me, and it has been for so many others now!! Thank you Honey, Major, and a loving Heavenly Father who forgave me❤️

3. We believe that “who you surround yourself with is who you partially become” — who do you surround yourself with that helps you love yourself more? What effect do you think the people you surround yourself with has on your ability to love yourself?

Yesss. Well, honestly, I’ve created my own environments and that has been HUGE for me...I believe you attract what you put out.

Sooo I wanted to continue dancing w/no judgment and just fun, soooo I created a dance environment based on service. So everyone apart of THE VAULT is loving, positive, uplifting, non judgmental, kind, the list goes on. As well as my FITNESS environment. 💓 I love fitness, but I wanted care, support and love, so that’s exactly the kind of people HOTMESS FITNESS brings in! It’s amazing! I have life long friends through both of these organizations!

It’s so amazing, everyone around both of these organizations, as well as Kalamity and Kaos are some of the most loving people you will ever meet!💓 They truly want to help, love, serve and see each other fly!

4. We all love social media! But it can be hard to not get trapped in the ‘comparison game’ while scrolling through Instagram. How do you stay away from comparison, keep it real and love your life & yourself while being part of the Instagram world?

Well to be honest: GRATITUDE!

I’m not gonna lie, there was a moment I felt some comparison in the beginning, hence why I wasn’t fully committed in the beginning...I can honestly say now....those feelings are gone and have been. I can look at any feed and just think, “Wow - that person is freaking amazing. I’m grateful for their creativity. I comment and like their work (I believe in telling people good if we think it...never hold back, since I feel like that builds up confidence for that person AND YOURSELF) and I’m truly happy for them,” but I also think, “I AM AMAZING TOO.”

I know how much hard-work goes in to social media, so anyone who is killing it, is working their booty off, and that’s something to congratulate them for instead of taking it away! Also, knowing that we are allllll DIFFERENT and have something different to offer this world. We all have a purpose and THERE IS ROOM FOR ALL OF US.💓After all, there are a gazillion people 😜 and every body connects in different ways. So be more grateful for others and what their message is and also grateful to what your doing as well!

+ appreciate others work...tell them!

+remember your unique and what your message is. STICK TO IT! 

+keep in mind there is room for all of us...the world needs you and what you have to share! Don't dim your light✨

5. What do you do for YOU? Whether it’s a daily thing or less often, what do you do to love yourself and make yourself a priority?

YESSS...all of us need Me time so we can be better for those around us! So, I get up early, and I workout (HOTMESS FITNESS) now online LIVE STREAM with women all over or on my YOUTUBE CHANNEL Tia and The Boys.

~~ I write in my grateful journal daily ❤️

~~ I pray and thank my Heavenly Father for all that I have.

~~ Always music on in the mornings while everyone is getting ready. To get us all hyped and being high on the good feels! Music is amazing and changes the mood anywhere!

FRIDAY FUN QUESTION! What is your favorite song to dance to?

oh this is a hard one....

HERES A FEW:

1. Tik Tok : Kesha

2. Booty : Jennifer Lopez 😜 gotta appreciate the bootay

3. When can I see you again? : Owl city

4. This is Me: Kaela Settle

5. Low : flo Rida 😜

Thanks for reading❤️ it means ALOT! 

I hope this can help someone today❤️

Don't forget how amazing you are 

SAY IT...."I am amazing"

Xoxo,

Tia

Keep being inspired by Tia’s contagious self love energy!

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